An Online Vigil; “Watch and Pray" Violence Video Poem by Artist/ Writer Jenny Meehan

I created this video poem over March 2021. My understanding of a vigil is that it might be a place where we stand together, and draw our attention to the shared experience of gender based violence. As a survivor, shame can be isolating, yet for even those women and girls who don’t have a direct experience, they, too, feel the effects of gender based violence of many kinds in our societies and communities. It leaves its mark. It devalues us, making us a commodity. It objectifies. It deletes. It silences. It can destroy a sense of self, and rob a person of a concept of their value. In my video, I read a poem I initially wrote way back in 2013. You also hear variations of the reading; though they are spoken by me in the video, my intention is that they symbolise many different peoples voices; suggesting not only a singular testimony but a corporate one. There are many different visual references in the short film, but they are best just viewed without my additional comments I think.

Some background information on the poem: I contributed three pieces of my visual art to an exhibition at Embrace Arts, the University of Leicester’s Arts Centre, January to March 2014, which was part of a research project and Symposium called “Speaking Out; Survivors, Artists and Public Services Against Gender Violence”. My contribution involved answering some questions about some of my own experiences of violence. The process resulted in me writing the poem “Violence”, though it was not included in my submission at the time. I kept it for myself. My Christian faith is a big dimension of my life, and a constant inspiration, so the concept of a Vigil resonates for me in a particular way in relation to that.

The making of the video has been a devotional act; yes, a form of prayer; through which I have been able to look back on the day (over 35 years ago) in which I was drugged and raped, and hold it in my mind. I have held it in my mind in a way which I was not able to hold it, at all, previously. And in the creation of it, I’ve made it with a consciousness I didn’t have before; that I am one of many - very many – and that the dissociation, the fragmentation of identity, and felt isolation it generated, are a shared experience.

There are many forms of violence. My short film references just one, based on a personal remembrance. But there are thousands and thousands of personal stories, and many voices silenced across the years. So I hope that the watching of this video is indeed a period of devotional watching for others, not only myself. It’s my way of participating in a wave of awareness and watchfulness which I hope will contribute in some respects to help effect positive change in our societies and communities worldwide.

Original Poem the video is based on:

Violence

is the blinding light which brings

darkness

wipes the words from my lips

removes all trace

of speech

yet tells me to be quiet, and so keeps me from

recalling

the sound of myself.

Violence

Is the blinding light which brings

Complete darkness

Takes the words from my

Open lips

Removes all trace

Of speech

Yet tells me to be quiet,

But I am recalling the sound of myself, that you may see.

Jenny Meehan 2013

https://jennymeehan.wordpress.com/

https://www.instagram.com/jennymeehan_jennymeehan/

https://twitter.com/jennymeehanart

https://linkedin.com/in/jennymeehanart

Jenny Meehan is a British Contemporary Artist based in Surrey/South West London.

"With a process-led approach, I act in response to the materials I work with. It is a spirit and emotion led practice; an articulation of fragmentary experience. All I create is autobiographically rooted and expressionistic. My art working acts as a kind of "re-membering"; a way of bringing things together.

My interest in a contemplative way of life means that I view my art work as a tool which enables the viewer to connect with their own emotions, giving space in a busy world for imagination and connection. Working with abstraction provides an opportunity for openness, allowing the viewer to determine their own path into my work, and this is coloured by their own experience and memory, unique to them."

While my romantic, lyrical, expressionistic, abstract paintings offer a contemplative space free from cares and concerns, other strands of my practice engage with subjects ranging from violence, trauma recovery, and themes arising from my own experience of psychoanalysis/psychotherapy

My vision for my work centres around the constant need and desire to push creative boundaries and to experiment with and explore the media available to me.

Additional Artwork